Privilege is a Dirty Word

There's a 'life lesson' that was trending a while ago about privilege. In the analogy, a teacher led a simple example about privilege and social mobility. The example involved asking all the students in the class to try and throw a piece of paper into the recycling bin which was placed at the front of the class. As expected, the percentage of people at the front of the class who made the shot, was higher than those at the back. The teacher then concluded that 'your job - as students who are receiving an education - is to be aware of your privileges. And use this particular privilege called 'education' to do your best to achieve great things, all the while advocating for those in rows behind you.' If you're interested, you can watch the full explanation here (Students Learn A Powerful Lesson About Privilege).

I thought this was a great way of explaining how even menial things in life are connected to privilege. However, the analogy of the lesson is not what interests me. More so it's what happens next is the interesting part. Consider these two subsequent events:

Those that now find themselves with privilege (who previously didn't)

Through a combination of will, determination and some natural ability, someone from less privilege can find themselves in a position of privilege. However, because of the way they were forced to overcome an obstacle, there is often nothing graceful about it. As such, given that we are generally a superficial society, those with privilege can be very quick to judge those that they perceive to behave strangely when they come into a little bit of privilege. Even more interesting is that when given the opportunity to learn how to do something a simpler way, the person with new found privilege can be resistant. 

To continue the teacher's analogy, this would consist of someone at the back making 'the shot' and therefore being allowed to sit at the front of the class. For the purpose of this discussion, let's call the person Steve. Let's also assume that to make the shot, Steve had to count how many people were in front of him, determine the periodic timing of the fans as they sway back and forth; let alone estimate the density of the paper ball to determine which person's head the ball would need to bounce off for it to land in the waste basket. Now when Steve is at the front of the class, he no longer has to worry about people being in front of them, nor does he need to worry about the fans. Yet when Steve checks the fans locations, the others at the front will probably laugh at him. Furthermore, when shown that the shot can be made by simply tossing it into the basket, Steve will probably still want to check the density of the ball.

This is an interesting phenomenon, of which no one is exempt. After all, we always treasure an accomplishment more when we figure something out for ourselves - even if it seems retarded to someone else. The most important thing though is to remember that we aren't all created equal and that there has to be a reason, motivation and/or general back story as to why a person behaves in such a way. 

Let's now consider the flip side of the coin.

Those that now find themselves without privilege (who previously had it) 

No matter what level of privilege we are fortunate to have access to, there is always someone with a similar set of attributes that does not receive the same level of privilege. In many cases, the privilege is a financial advantage (i.e. you are able to pay to be closer to the basket). However, all this does is masks a person's deficiencies. As such, whilst a less privileged person will get found out quite quickly, the privileged person will be able to ghost along pretending everything is happiness and rainbows and may never be found out - which is why it makes it all so interesting when they do get found out.

I don't think he's ever going to understand privilege

Once again, let's continue the analogy set out by the teacher. This time our subject is a person of average ability but has the fortunate privilege to sit up the front. We shall call him Tony. Now given the close proximity to the basket, Tony simply scrunched up the piece of paper and basically placed it into the waste basket. As such, Tony feels quite good about himself and probably doesn't consider why the shot was so easy. Hence, if Tony was asked to make the shot again but instead this time he is blindfolded, it may suddenly be extremely difficult for him to make the shot. It is therefore not surprising when Tony completely misses the shot and suddenly finds himself behind the other people at the front.

The key difference between Tony and Steve is that Steve, had to be adaptable to overcome many obstacles; something Tony has never had to consider. I'm not saying that Steve would make the shot. He would however, be more prepared than Tony to make or fail at the shot. Fortunately, for Tony given his position of privilege, it is more than likely that he will have access to resources such that he may be able to make the shot.

As cruel as it is, no matter how much privilege we have, we will all eventually get found out. It's not the end of the world, but it does mean accepting some hard truths about yourself. We must also be understanding of others and their actions so that privilege doesn't become a dirty word. As summarised by the teacher, privilege is something that you should be aware of and ideally you should be doing everything in your power to make the best use of said privilege. Sadly, this often doesn't hold true for many people. However, if we can all be more aware and never forget the privileges we are given, we may just find that that strange person is not that strange.

#Hanbaobao

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It Is Never Enough

I used to think that if I achieved certain things, I'd eventually be satisfied and content. This is was what enabled me to justify every compromise I had to make as I followed the natural progression that life set out for me. More specifically, it was the belief that the future gain would satisfy the reduction in real time happiness. I don't want to dwell too long on the progression, but basically I'm referring to the fact that high school and university were completed with minimal fuss and high returns.

This now brings us to working life and the routine it brings. Sure there was a need for rapid growth and room for development initially,  but even that was passed eventually. I would have thought that I'd eventually feel a sense of satisfaction but all that comes is an empty sense of accomplishment as it if was never in doubt. Even rises in salary seem to have a diminishing rate of satisfaction.

I recently read an article that happiness as a function of salary, caps at about $75,000 p.a. I realise how this post must make me sound; it is is very much a first world problems post.

Yet whilst this might be my set of circumstances, I'm sure there are plenty of people feeling the same way through their own experiences. Could the reason for this lack of fulfilled satisfaction be brought on by an artificial perception of what is happiness? Or is it because a big enough risk was not taken? 

There's probably some truth in both. So what can we do? 

Throughout all my posts, the key themes I keep coming back to are passion and communication. Without these two things, you really will feel a sense of emptiness. We often mistake comfort as a substitute for satisfaction. This is because comfort is easy to find. But even comfort can only sustain you for so long before you becoming longing for satisfaction or descend on a dark spiral of bitterness. Without trying to sound all philosophical and shit, I've realised that possibly the hardest thing in life is to find the right combination of passion, satisfaction and remuneration.

I know that this period of discovery may take some time before I even work it out (is there a possibility that it could be in doubt?). In the mean time what is important is that you enjoy the journey. Find that thing which makes the next day worth it. For me it's the extra shot of rum which I take every time I shut my cupboard. I encourage you to find and share yours.

#Hanbaobao

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The Next Phase

A funny thing happened to me the other day. I say funny because I never thought it would happen. This feeling was the acceptance that another chapter in my life had completely closed for good.

Stuck in a remote location with limited things to do to occupy my time, I found myself watching part of the movie Mean Girls. As far as chick flicks go, mean girls is probably one of the better ones and I would even go so far as to say it's quite enjoyable.

This movie came out in about 2003 or 2004 and I definitely would say the teenage hormones were more than alive back then such that Rachel McAdams and Lindsay Lohan were the highlight of the show.

Fast forward to 2015 and I had a completely different experience, one that I never thought would have happened. I actually found myself sarcastically making fun on the school kids with their petty problems and was feeling the pain felt by Tina Fey as she tried to relate to the self absorbed teenagers that populate the school.

Sure the jokes were still amusing but they were for different reasons. I also understood jokes that went straight over my head in a yesteryear.

I got over this shock reasonably quickly but it really just hit home that I'd left that side of me behind. 

There's no real point to this post other than I ask you to ask yourself what point you're at. If you're still in the 'immature' phase, cherish it because your 'moment' might not be too far away. If you're well past the moment, I'm now forced to accept that I'm one of you. Here's to the next time period as we await the passing of the 'next moment.'

#Hanbaobao

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Large Standard Deviations

We all know a person who has one extremely negative quality about them and yet still seems to get ahead. This can take many forms such as being a complete arsehole to having no people skills whatsoever. For the average person, it can often be disheartening to see these people get further and further ahead of you. Yet, if we delve a little deeper into the make up of this 'underserving' person, we can quickly see that they must have some qualities that separate them from the pack. Interestingly, when you average out their good and bad qualities, you may find that their overall abilities are only mildly above average, albeit with a much larger standard deviation compared to the average person.

If we accept this to be true, then it becomes quite easy to understand why the 'bad person' seems to get ahead so easily. Consider the following simple formula to success.

Success = risk * overall ability 

For now let's assume overall ability is constant. That is, you, the 'fair and reasonable worker' has the same overall ability as the 'asshole' that always seems to be getting ahead of you.

Now consider the economic theory that people must be amply compensatied for the risk they take on (the risk vs reward conundrum). Obviously, if you like to play it safe, you could be considered as risk adverse and conversely, if you like to gamble you could be considered as a risk taker. Essentially your level of risk aversion, will influence your potential for rewards.

This is no different to your working environment. On one hand you have yourself, the self judged, fair, calm, risk adverse, slightly above average person. On the other, you have the risk taking 'asshole' who is loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, possibly incredibly smart, who overall is still only slightly above average. 

If we now go back to our formula, it's now hard not to see why this person seems to be always getting ahead of you.

However, before you take this post as permission to become an asshole and start taking unnecessary risks you have to remember one key thing - standard deviation.

Standard deviation in this case is the spread of personality traits or abilities you display (all things considered). In your case, the 'quieter' you are, the smaller your standard deviation is. You can therefore be quite safe in the knowledge that you will constantly achieve above average results with limited difficulty. 

Looking to our successful 'friend,' we can see that they have a huge spread which is why it may be quite easy for them to produce something way above average. Yet their biggest strength is also their biggest Achilles heel. If they are able to produce something amazing, they are just as able to produce something that is entirely shit. 

If you consider that, you should realise that their best may be better than yours. However, never forget that their shit is going to be miles worse than your version of crap (a position I would never want to be in).

The point here is to now stop resenting this person and instead start respecting the 'work game.' Every game has a certain set of rules and sometimes to win, you have to take a big risk.

I think if you can understand that, you may find that the 'underserving' person may now be more 'deserving.' You may still envy that person, but you shouldn't resentment them for taking a risk. What you should be asking yourself is the question - am I getting ample reward for the risks I've taken?

#Hanbaobao

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Expectations

Expectation is a funny word as it can mean many things. A lot of us associate it with success and how success is expected not something you could consider. Many of us understand 'expectation' when it's a well worn path such as the big 3 things in life; job, marriage and kids. However, what I find interesting is when people feel the weight of 'expectation' over things we could consider trivial.

Let me give you a few examples. I recently met a guy who told me one of his biggest fears was returning to his home country and not leaving with an Australian accent as his family expected him to be able to 'speak like a local.'  Another person told me she had to find a better looking boyfriend because her family had told her the last one was too ugly. I, myself have felt this trivial expectation a number of years ago when I thought I had to have a girlfriend before the next time I saw a certain relative.

Ultimately, it's quite obvious that there's a common theme here; family. It makes sense that family and expectations are highly correlated due to the importance they play in your life but how does that explain the 'expectation' over trivial things and furthermore, is it justified as rational?

The easy assumption is to always say people are irrational and therefore anything random, strange or completely nonsensical is understandable. Whilst I agree that this is a valid point, I disagree with it being irrational. My reasons might be selfish but I don't like it when there's an issue and there's nothing I can do about it. As such, I argue that people are behaving rationally but it may seem weird as it is not from a position of strength. Instead I might argue that it is from a position of fear.

Everyone has fears but I say that the fear of letting down someone we really care about has to be one of the biggest. Thus, when those closest to us make comments or undertake actions which negatively influence us, we equate this to 'failure.' As such, we feel a rational need to fix this problem; often at all costs. However, in our pursuit of fixing the problem, if there is no easy fix, we begin to cloud the lines of rational and irrational.

Funnily, it is this rationale that keeps the process behind it rational despite the irrational actions. So what can you do about it? Let's go back to our earlier examples.

Speaking Like A Local

Everyone likes value for money. Often when you go to study in a foreign place, there is a large sum of money that is paid. As such, you may feel this trivial expectation to maximise the 'education' you are receiving. In order to not disappoint, I can completely understand the need to 'master' skills which you are perceived as having access to such as learning to 'speak like a local.'

In most cases, this has a lot more to do with you than it does with the person you are wanting to impress. As such, I encourage you to find the real reasons behind this motivation. If it is truly fear of disappointment, then I think you may be missing the point of why you and indirectly your family want you to achieve it.

If however, its a non negotiable, I find that more often than not, these little expectations are quite achievable if you go about them the right way. Get out of your comfort zone and realise that learning from failures are some of the best life lessons you will receive. Take it slow and try to do go for the unrealistic options. You really shouldn't be buying a lottery ticket to pay off a $200,000 debt. Yet for some reason this is the way we often handle the trivial expectations.

Finding the Right Kind of Partner

Human nature or maybe animal instinct in this case is essentially to reproduce. Now couple this with an insatiable desire for infinite wants and its completely understandable for wanting to improve your bloodlines future. As such, careful consideration must be given to the other player in the equation; your partner.

This makes it understandable why your family will often make you feel inadequate when it comes to relationships. Once again, if your decisions are made as a result of fear you are probably likely to be choosing someone who isn't right for you. Instead of reacting to, you must try to act from a position of strength. As is a common theme in my posts, this position of strength comes from asking the right questions and analysing the situation accordingly. In this case, you must find out what matters most to you in life and then find out the motivations of the person that is causing the weight of expectation to descend upon you. You may realise that the person always encouraging you is a completely materialistic person and therefore actually offers no real value to you. Harsh but true, but just because someone is family, it doesn't necessarily mean they have valid things to say.

Expectations are and will always be a funny word to deal with. Some of them will be easy to deal with whilst others despite their small stature, will eat and eat away at us until we reach a cross roads and we rationally do something irrational. Just remember that, whilst family will pick you up when you do the irrational, there's really no excuse for you if constantly allow them to lead you to the irrational.

#Hanbaobao

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What is Happiness Worth?

As I stood enjoying the showmanship of Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters, a thought kept popping back into my head; if money could buy happiness, this would be it. Sure this moment would pass and it did, but for those 2.5 hours, I was truly happy and I would gladly pay the ticket price again and again.

 In reflection of this amazing concert, two things struck me as interesting:

1. Dave's comments that he believed that Adelaide still had a rock and roll music scene;

2. The subsequent comments from AJ Maddah and random fans.

For those that don't know, AJ Maddah is the lead promoter for the Soundwave music festival. AJ Maddah has indicated that Soundwave may not be returning to Adelaide in 2016 due to poor ticket sales. As such, this essentially leaves Adeladie with two 'music' festivals; Stereosonic and Future Music Festival (Woopty doo *Sarcasm intended*). 

Which brings me to the point of this post; the question of whether you can put a 'price on happiness?' Or more specifically 'At what point do you stop paying for happiness?'

It would be unfair to make this assessment without a few assumptions. As such, one of my main assumptions is that people do not behave rationally - why else would we pay hundreds of dollars to see someone scream and play a guitar (the foo fighters are not exempt from this). However, I am of the belief that there is a tipping point; the point where the irrational becomes rational. That is why no matter what your beliefs, backgrounds, personal tastes and so on are, you may initially be 'irrational' compared to another but at some point everyone reaches the same rational position (as all money is finite).

Personally, I don't get a lot out of metal and punk (the majority of the Soundwave 2015 lineup). To me the majority of metal and punk is not about happiness but is instead about providing an outlet for frustrations and built up emotions. This outlet is definitely required for 'sanity' reasons so this then poses the question; why are people being so rational when it comes to purchasing (or not purchasing) Soundwave tickets?

Let's contrast this with the Soundwaves of 2011 and 2013 where 'mainstream' bands such as Queens of the Stone Age and 30 Seconds to Mars (2011) and Blink 182 and Linkin Park (2013) were in attendance. I would go so far as to say that unlike the recent headlining bands, these guys appeal to a wider range of people chasing 'irrational happiness.' As such, if you have a diminishing 'irrational happy pool' surely the number ticket sales would exponentially decrease when you consider rising ticket prices (economics 101).

This is also why I'm not surprised to hear that the festivals that are no longer providing 'widespread irrational happiness' are failing (see Big Day Out who tried to mash the molly enthusiasts with the hardcore rock n rollas and resulted in sending both groups home unhappy).

Even this guy can be happy

It might be an optimists view (money NOT being able to buy happiness is the pessimist's view) but I think everyone generally wants to be happy (even Voldemort is chasing his own version of 'irrational happiness'). As such, when promoters chase profits they can sometimes be blindsided about what truly sells an event; the provision of irrational happiness.

Let's now take this to a wider audience and consider sports by comparing horse racing and cricket. Two things are obvious here. Attendees of horse racing are not there for the actual races. It is the promise of fun and happiness (with winning money on a race being a side bonus) that ultimately sells the event. On the flip side, unless you are one of the privileged few that is able to hang out in the members area and get trashed off many a beer, chances are you won't be attending the cricket unless you are a fanatic (very much a niche market these days - Australia playing is the exception). It's extremely obvious which one is providing the 'irrational happiness' and which one provides the rational.

Let's also consider two of the best paid sports in the world; European Soccer and American Baseball. The salaries on offer here are astronomical compared to other sports around the world; to the point that people love to critique the wages paid, whenever there is even the slightest slip up from any sportsman. Ultimately, if the fan is paying the wages, its not the sporting ability or professionalism that governs the salary. It is the promise of irrational happiness and whilst this illusion exists, their wages will continue to be justified.

Interestingly, I think you could almost equate any monetary transactions as a trade for happiness (or at least future happiness). Why else would we pay 'overpay' for something if not for the assumption that everyone is chasing their own version of irrational happiness? Penny for you thoughts?

#Hanbaobao

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Is Workplace Discrimination Really Discrimination (Part 3)

We now know that for a company to have sales, there must be trust between the seller and the buyer. We also know what constitutes trust and that intimacy is required (Part 1). We then got to the point where the person that will make us look the best, is the person we want to be the most intimate with and finally we worked out that, by and large, this person takes the form of the 'Ultimate Male Specimen (Part 2).'

With that in mind, lets now discuss whether there is a place for 'appropriate discrimination' in the workplace.

If profits are all dependent on intimacy, you have to put yourself in the decision makers position. Ask yourself this simple question, 'would you send a sheep to negotiate with a pack of wolves?' My guess is many different variations of NO. You would send the biggest bad ass you could find (i.e. The Ultimate Man). However, don't forget that every time you don't send a sheep to the negotiation you are discriminating against all sheep.

Now if we apply this internally to an organisation, many of us are stereotyped by management as a certain kind of worker based on our skills and personalities. As such, just like the sheep, many of us will be 'discriminated' against which is of course wrong.

However, if sales are a function of trust, trust is a function of intimacy, and intimacy is indeed a function of our skills and personality traits, then why shouldn't we be excluded from doing certain things if management does not think we can make the sale. After all, its their butt and not yours on the line if sales targets are not met. As such, in this case, I think there is definitely a place for 'appropriate discrimination.'

Fortunately, unlike the sheep, you can do something about this. Let's have a look at a scenario.

Your Company Has Many Foreign Clients

Communication is a large part of intimacy. As such, if your company has many foreign clients and you can't speak said 'foreign' language, you may feel yourself unfairly discriminated against. To this person, I say that you may be missing what is truly important to the 'sale.'

Yes, just because someone can speak Chinese, they might be able to speak directly to the client and therefore have a perceived advantage at gaining their trust. However, if they can't generate intimacy whilst discussing high risk fund investment, they're still just as useless to your manager as the person that can't speak Chinese.

Instead of worrying that your career progression is being blocked, try focusing your efforts to identify what is the key defining factor to the 'sale.' It could be the best returns on the clients assets. It could be the piece of mind that their funds will be safe with your bank. It could be the access to the lowest interest rates. Whatever it is, you should be looking to undercover it. If you manage this, it may not matter what language you speak as this was not the key factor to gaining someone's trust.

On the flip side, if it is something that is non negotiable (i.e. the monthly management meeting is conducted in a foreign language), then you may be forced to accept that your career pathway is probably quite limited. However, you should not let this stop you from succeeding. Companies are so big and diverse these days that there is more than likely an available career path for you that you will be attracted to.

This may not be immediately clear to you; which is why communication is once again, very important. You need to be having regular career discussions (note: every week may be too often - try every 3 or 6 months) with your manager or mentor to ensure you can map out a career path that both of you are happy with. As I alluded to in 'Getting the Most Out of a Career Discussion,' management can only act upon the information you give them. They are not mind readers and you will definitely get more out of it if you do your homework before going to a meeting.

Remember management respond best when you present them with a problem and also include a possible solution. This is where intimacy is developed and trust is gained. Do this often enough and hopefully you will find that you are no longer subjected to 'appropriate discrimination.'

#Hanbaobao

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The Nonnegotiables to Success

There's a famous quote by Albert Einstein that's says 'if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it will spend its whole life thinking it's stupid.' This is generally true. However (yes there's always a however with me), if there's food at the top of the tree and the fish completely disregards how the monkey got up there, then the fish is indeed stupid.

One of my good friends likes to use Mr Einstein's quote as an excuse for why he shouldn't learn something or why he doesn't need to know it. I hope that one day he acknowledges my follow up statement and if you haven't worked it out already, this is going to be the basis for today's post.

So my point here is, even if you don't understand something, if it's a crucial cog in the system, you must acknowledge and respect it. You might argue that if you aren't good at maths, you could always hire a number cruncher. Similarly, if you're not good at manual labour, you could hire workers. There are however, a few nonnegotiables to the recipe to success; an understanding of economics, physics and psychology.

I'm not saying you have to undertake formal study in these three areas. It would of course be beneficial if you did but for some people, these things are just understood without any formal training.

Let's take a deeper look at what I'm trying to get at.

The ever present problem to achieving success is What, How and Who;

1. What do I do to be successful? (Physics)

Physics is the generalised study of nature, conducted in order to understand how the universe behaves. Whatever your chosen area of success is, you must understand the physics behind. The better your understanding, the more likelihood you are to have a statistical advantage and therein may lie your success. This extends from a professional job where you are judged on your understanding of concepts and ability to apply them to understanding the physical limits of plant and apparatus.

2. How do I make it happen? (Economics)

Economics is a social science that studies how individuals, governments, firms and nations make choices on allocating scarce resources to satisfy their unlimited wants. Put simply, economics is the branch of knowledge concerned with production, consumption and transfer of wealth. In most cases, your wealth is a measure of your success. Hence, accepting that you and your product are a commodity subjected to market forces will allow you to extract wealth. How well you play the market is directly proportional to how much wealth and success you will extract.

3. Who determines if you're successful?(Psychology)

Psychology is an academic and applied discipline that involves the scientific study of mental functions and behaviours. There's no point being an expert in your field or having the best business model if you can't convince your target audience to buy your 'product.' As such, an intuitive understanding of the psychology behind the actions of others will ultimately be the make or break for any level of success you aim to achieve.

Now a person destined for success will automatically assess the positive and negative aspects of these three factors. However, it is very rare for an individual to possess significant insight into all three factors. Similarly, it is also very rare for a product to require a high level of physics, economics and psychology. Thus, you shouldn't lose heart if you think you are rubbish at any one of the three. You may just need to find the right product that requires a combination which plays to your strengths. 

That being said, I encourage you to incorporate all three factors in any major business decisions, whether it be in the planning phase or execution. Failure to do so will be setting yourself up for failure.With that in mind I'd like to share how you could also apply this theory to getting ahead at work.

For any task that you undertake, take a moment of self reflection and check the physics, economics and psychology behind the task. It could be as simple as:

1. I will learn a new skill or maintain my ability at completing the task (physics - understanding and applying a new theorem)

2. I have made myself more valuable to the company (economics - where you fall in the supply and demand for workers)

3. I have made a good impression on those around me (psychology - where you lie in other people's opinions)

For most tasks it may seem irrelevant to undertake such an analysis as they are no brainer positive results. However, for those negative results (i.e. the task that doesn't serve your physical, economic or psychological interests) or even for those career decisions, you may be grateful that you did undertake such an assessment. I'd be interested to hear from anyone willing to try this. It doesn't take a lot of effort but with a few tweaks to your approach and a stronger understanding of who you are, there's no reason you can't be on the path to success.

#Hanbaobao

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Do You Have What it Takes to Reach the Top?

Hard work is too common phrase these days. The promise that if we work hard, we will succeed seems to be misguided simply because 'hard work' is relative. It will always differ from person to person. This then poses the question of how do you quantify a willingness towards hard work? One way could be to choose 'benchmarks' which you can measure your work ethic against. The 'benchmarks' I have chosen are aimed at helping you to assess your character and determine if you have the drive and work ethic to reach the top. So without further ado let's explore 5 things you can try.

1. Stay in a 5 star hotel

This one is quite easy to 'achieve'. The thing you should find out here is to determine if the 5 star level of comfort is something you 'need' to have. This is different to the 'yeah I like it and would always take it if I have the chance.' However, if the answer is 'you don't feel comfortable in lesser accommodation anymore,' then you know you are probably willing to put that extra effort in for that extra reward.

2. Do something significant that you're not entirely comfortable with

Unfortunately, whether you like it or not, there will come a time when you will have to do something you're not entirely comfortable with. Reaching the top requires wits and a strong control over your emotions and whilst you may think that you are a 'good' person, rest assured that there will be someone out there that is immoral or unethical. When your back is against the wall, you may be forced to do something that you may not be comfortable with. I'm not saying that this ok. However, it's best to know if you're okay with doing things in the 'questionable' area before it's too late.

3. Buy a materialistic item for $1000

This one is a good one. Spending this quantity of money is for most people a big deal. You most probably have obsessed and obsessed about this decision for a long time. Hence this is why when you finally do it, you feel such an attachment to it. But what comes next is interesting. It can go two ways. Either you think it was a good idea and you instantly have a hunger for more 'luxury' items or you completely regret it and wish you could return it. Chances are if you are the first one, you know you're going to work hard to maintain this new 'lifestyle.'

4. Join a gym

Make sure you sign up for a lengthy period of time. Then monitor how much you actually use your membership. If the number is low chances are you aren't very disciplined and therefore hard work may not be your forte. It's also a good measure of how you spend your money. If you think $500 for a yearly membership is a good idea, then chances are you'll see value in other 'expensive' items and will work hard to get them.

5. Try an extreme diet

This is another discipline idea. By extreme diets, I don't mean the 'only eat carrots for 5 days for rapid weight loss' diets. I'm referring to the 'cult' diets like the paleo diets or veganism. Hard work is only undertaken if you want essentially want to join a cult. Think about it, the partners at your firm are essentially in a mini cult, the expensive things they own puts them in the respective clubs (cults). If you identify yourself as one of those people that enjoys being someone who follows these 'interesting' diets, then chances are you may have what it takes to work hard and join the 'elite.'

These are just a few ways that can help you discover more about yourself. Fear not if you aren't one of these people. Happiness is entirely subjective. Someone that is happy going about their day is much better off than someone that works hard for no reason and absolutely hates what they do.

The first person I envy, the second I don't. Don't be the latter.

#Hanbaobao

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Why We Choose Toxic Over Boring

This post is a request from an anonymous reader. Looks like I have one fan now. Look out, I'm going places. 

So this post is about why we choose the toxic over the boring.

I've lost count of how many times I've seen people (including myself) choose the toxic over the boring. Our generation is essentially so controlled by social media and what it means to society; 'The HEY LOOK AT ME. SEE HOW AWESOME I AM AND WHY I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU!!!! #HASHTAG #HASHTAG.'

It is because of this that, our generation is constantly buying things we can't afford to impress people we don't like, at levels that have never been seen before. (I know I quoted this before). Everyone also knows that good things take time. As such, our generation is so easily tempted by the 'dark side.' The way to a quick buck. This is why our morals and ethics constantly move into the grey area as we struggle to project the idea we are 'living the dream' whilst in reality, we are probably not eating for a week just so we can pretend we are kings and queens on the weekend.

Now not all of these decisions are immoral or unethical. They are however; TOXIC.

Toxic, is the occasion when you date the asshole and friendzone the person that's good for you. Toxic is the consumption of drugs, to make your job more manageable. Toxic is selling your friend out for free entry to a club or to raise your perceived social standing.

This occurs because toxic is exciting. Toxic makes you feel alive. Toxic gives you the ready made excuse that it's okay because the person next to you is undertaking their own form of toxic. Toxic is probably even good for the soul; in small doses.

However, just like the food pyramid tells us, too much toxic is heading for disaster. And when you crash and burn, who's forced to pick up the pieces? Probably someone who isn't as toxic as you, and therefore is forced to deal with your shit because if they don't, you'll throw toxic their way.

Social media will either evolve or die out and the same will happen to you. If you keep choosing the toxic, you will eventually turn into a sad sad person. So maybe swallow your pride, get out there, find your role model and get some life experience. Then come back and brag about it. You won't be toxic or boring then. You'll be interesting.

Anothermag

#Hanbaobao

Faith in Humanity Restored

I was recently looking at a whole bunch of 'faith in humanity restored memes' and then I remembered some bad luck stories that recently happened to a couple of friends. The first had his phone stolen by housekeeping from his room in Thailand and the second had not only her phone and money stolen, but also her friends by a charming mysterious gentleman she had brought back for the night in Bali. 

I thought about how they didn't have a 'faith in humanity restored moment.' This prompted me to think about one of my bad luck stories. However, I was very fortunate to have a 'faith in humanity restored moment,' which I'd like to share today.

In December 2013, I flew to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with AirAsia. Before KLIA2 (Kuala Lumpur International Airport 2), AirAsia landed at LCCT (Low Cost Carrier Terminal). For those who have never been here, the LCCT terminal essentially resembles a cargo terminal that is understaffed, rather dirty and largely employs foreign poorly educated workers at wages that are probably around the poverty line.

LCCT looks quite the opposite of this picture

I landed in the mid afternoon and was getting picked up by a friend. For whatever reason, I placed my travel wallet containing all my documents and foreign currency in the front basket of the baggage trolley instead of back in my bag. Caught up in the excitement of seeing my friend, I somehow managed to load everything into the car and leave my travel wallet (no it's not from MontBlanc) in the trolley

It took me about 30 minutes of driving before I snapped out of the initial excitement and a thought occurred to me. Where was my passport? What started as an off thought quickly transformed into total dread of what would come next. A thorough checking of my hand luggage resulted in only negative results. 

Meanwhile we were still driving further away from the airport at 120 km/h.

It soon became quite obvious that I had left my travel wallet behind, at which point we started making our way back to the airport. Calling the airport's lost and found multiple was no help (the worker proceeded to try and flirt with my friend as I don't speak Malay) and only succeed into increasing my annoyance in myself for being so careless.

Then came the first of the two things that I just have to laugh about when I look back on this traumatic experience. Kuala Lumpur like many large cities are designed with massive highways that have no turn offs for tens of kilometres. So when my friend took a wrong turn (essentially taking us a further 50 km away), I was nearing breaking point.

Eventually we were back on the right road and about 30 km out from the airport when the second thing occurred. A truck tyre burst in front of us and driving over the debris somehow caused one of our car tyres to burst as well. At first we thought we could keep driving but after closer inspection it was obvious that that was a bad idea. Naturally, with the way the day was going, the spare tyre was flat and the car of people that were friendly enough to stop didn't know how to change a tyre so we were forced to call highway patrol.

Fortunately, they were only about 15 minutes away. However, upon their arrival they did everything but fix the tyre (their actions consisted of arguing for 20 minutes about whether they should help pump of the flat tyre or attend to an accident further down the road to trying to flirt with my friend and get her number). Eventually, they agreed to help us and we were back on the road.

With no further delays we finally reached the airport. I didn't expect the trolley to be where I left it, but nor did I expect what happened next. 

A cleaner was in the general vicinity of the area so with my last bit of hope fading fast, I approached him and asked about my travel wallet. An exchange of broken English was exchanged before he said the words 'black file,' nodded and and then motioned for me to follow him. We approached a wall that turned out to be a firehose cupboard and then he pull out a mailman sack. I could not believe my luck when he pulled out the folder completely in tack and without anything removed from it. For his troubles I gave him $100 and went on my way.

I used to hate it when people ask me if I've packed everything etc. However, since that day I take it as a necessary evil. 

My faith in humanity restored, I went on to have an amazing time complimented with good friends, food and memories. Times like these it's always good to remember that there are still decent people out there.

#Hanbaobao

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