Your Reputation is Everything

Today is a cautionary tale of being bitten. Last month i found myself in a satisfying position where I was going to be given an exciting opportunity interstate for a number of weeks. In my delight I started making weekend plans and so forth. Then came the almighty pull back to reality. The constant of what is average. Companies talk about improving it all the time, but one thing will always remain; the issue with resourcing. I  found out the hard way that I was no longer going interstate and I was instead going to be sent remotely twice in three weeks. Naturally, I think I have grounds to be frustrated, although I will admit that part of the frustration is my own doing.

You can argue many points of view but when you have breakdowns in communication and failures in tracking resources, cracks will always appear. I forgot this, which is the root cause of my frustrations.

I could keep going about why this is such a big deal to me so that I can feel better about myself. However, I want to focus on the flow on effect. It's funny that because of one screw up that was out of my control, the flow on effect left an entire team pissed off. This now brings me to the point of this post; Your reputation is everything.

When things aren't going your way there are two ways you can handle it; mope, complain and essentially damage your reputation or brush it off, remain respectful and enhance it. 

There are many people who choose the former and it's quite obvious how their immediate and mid term futures will play out. I like to think I've chosen the latter and here's why.

Let me start by saying I am ambitious. This means that I must have a long term game if I am ever to be satisfied. As I've said before every interaction is a sales transaction (there is always one buyer and one seller) and the keys to completing the sale is the cultivation of trust. In my 'work place discrimination series', I focused on trust being a trade-off between intimacy and risk (link here). However, when things aren't going your way, the other factor that is in your control (reputation), becomes your everything.

So if reputation is your trading chip, then you must fully understand when it means to your employers. As such, the way in which you build your reputation is the key to your success.

I would say that you arguably have your greatest chance at enhancing your reputation during difficult times. Any Muppet can look good during good times but it takes a special person to perform during the bad. The good thing is that you don't have to be 'special' to be special if you consider a few things.

Humility

Yes everyone has emotions. However, the office environment is no different to the school yard politics you thought you left behind. As such, presenting the face of humility is the best poker face you should learn. You should still be doing whatever it takes behind the scenes (morally and ethically of course!) to get what you want but don't forget the benefits on outwardly projecting humility. Note: Don't confuse this with being two faced. You will get found out eventually and a long term goal is better than a short term gain.

Planning

Your first step after presenting humility is to understand why things are happening/or happened like this. It doesn't stop here though. Using this knowledge to develop a plan that will help you stay clam and focus during the next chaotic moment will be paramount to future success. Consider things such as the difficult personalities that will cross your path and how to deal with them.

You could also remember the saying, fool me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, shame on me. If this is the first time its happened you may be able to justify your actions. However, history has a funny way of repeating itself so there really is no excuse for not being prepared the next time.

Strong voice

You should never back down when you dislike something. However, everything has a time and a place. You don't achieve anything by fighting in public. Respectful strong words to those concerned in private are your most effective option. If you are still unsatisfied, consider gathering support to take the issue up the chain. Finally, if all else fails, then you may have to resort to Frank Underwood or Walter White tactics in order to be heard..

Keeping these things in mind will hopefully allow you to keep adding strings to your bow and you won't get blindsided like I did.

#Hanbaobao

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The Cupboard is Shut

Today I want to propose a way of explaining how we conduct ourselves.

Everyone has a cupboard which remains open whilst they care. The longer the cupboard stays open the more productive we are and the more we potentially can achieve.

However, at some point in the day, week, month, year etc, there will come a point where you just stop, snap and no longer give a f*Ck. At this point the phrase 'your cupboard is shut' is coined. By this, I mean you put all the f*cks that you once gave in a metaphorical cupboard and then shut the doors.

I find this interesting as everyone's cupboard will shut at different times. The challenge for you is to identify and understand how to reopen them. Success at reopening someone's 'cupboard' is a unique skill which will help you in the long run.

Consider the following types of people.

The Lazy Person

This lazy person's cupboard is always shut and probably has never been opened. They usually have a great ability to delegate and never take responsibility for their own actions. Unlocking this person's cupboard is a tricky task as this person is usually quite sensitive to criticism. Consider understanding what makes them tick. Find out the things that motivate them and you may find their cupboard is quite easy to unlock. Just never underestimate the value of the lazy person.

The Alpha

The alpha's cupboard is often a revolving door. It can shut the moment they've either got their way or presented their point of view. A common characteristic is the ability to always think they are right or at least think their opinion is more important. If this occurs, they often disregard everyone else's opinion. Fortunately, because the alpha's cupboard shuts so easily, it's relatively straight forward to get it to reopen. Just remember that fighting fire with fire may get you burned. However, letting the alpha scream until there's only smoke left may give you a unique opportunity to strike during a moment of weakness and smash the lock on their cupboard. Just remember, they will probably want revenge..

The Social Climber

The social climber is a very predictable self-centered individual. If you know one of these kinds of people, you will know that their cupboards only open for 'special occasions' and for short periods of time. It can often be frustrating being around this kind of person as you know when their cupboard will open and it will be for selfish reasons. As such, there's two beneficial ways to handle them. The first one is to treat them as 'toxic' and therefore distance yourself from them. The second is to leverage off their ability to be thick skinned. Use this as a unique opportunity to find out information, meet the 'right' kind of people and most importantly keep them close even if you truly resent them. After all, better the enemy you know, than the enemy you do not - GoT.

The Hard Worker

The hard worker is an interesting person, as their cupboard stays open longer than anyone else's. You may find that instead of having to unlock their cupboard, you have to get them to shut it from time to time, in order to save them from a meltdown sometime down the track. It's very easy to overlook the hard worker as they are often rather quiet and unassuming. This shouldn't make them any less important on your ring of keys. So remember to be caring as much as you are a political battler.

No matter how well you can unlock a shut cupboard, one thing is more important than anything else -  The ability to understand your own cupboard. There's a saying that you should 'get your own house in order before preaching to the choir.' I think cupboards are one such instance where this applies.

#Hanbaobao

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Gifts for Girls

In many cases coming up with a gift is rather difficult. Fortunately for you, girls don't want to be disappointed so they can be quite sneaky and drop many subtle hints in the lead up to an 'occasion.' Don't worry though, you shouldn't get into trouble if you get her something that she 'wants.' However, if you want to really see her smile, consider the following possibilities.

1. Shoes

Did you think I'd start with anything else? Every girl loves her shoes so why not get yourself some major brownie points by getting a nice pair of shoes. I'm thinking you should get something that can be 'displayed' and stand out among her collection. A pair of louboutin's or manolo's are nice but I advise against this unless its a major, major occasion or you're a rich person from the Emirates who owns 10 ferraris. As such, you could also consider the Night Envi (shown above) or the Night Lita from Jeffery Campbell.

2. Leather Pouch

For those couples that enjoy his and her gifts, I'm going to follow the pattern from the guys post, and recommend something personalised for number 2. This takes the form of the personalised leather pouches from the Daily edited. They can emboss up to 3 initials on any item from their catalogue. The leather is great quality and the inside lining is also up to scratch. You might also want to consider the card holders as well.

3. Make Up

This is often a tricky area to buy gifts in. However, one thing you can bet is a safe gift is mascara. As such, consider one of the original pioneers in the mascara game; Helena Rubinstein. I'm told the mascaras from this brand are nothing short of amazing albeit they are subjected to value-based pricing. Obviously this then makes them an extra special gift for a lucky girl.

4. Watch

These days watches are just as interchangeable as bracelets. As such, a girl can't have too many watches. If the timeless colours for guys are grey, navy and black, then the timeless colours for girls would have to be whites, silver and rose gold. As such, consider the following watches.

White

This watch should be the most casual; one that is worn during sunny days and casual nights. My recommendation is the Amy Watch from Marc Jacobs in white leather.

Silver

Every professional needs a watch. However, keep in mind the working world will always be a bit 'old fashioned.' As such go conservation and get something simple and classy like a silver watch to accessorise you work attire. The watch you could consider is the SXDF55P1 from Seiko.

Rose Gold

This colour is all the rage at the moment. A well chosen rose gold watch can actually transcend across all three uses; casual, professional and formal. As such if she doesn't have one already, this should be the first one you consider. My choice here is another one from Marc Jacobs; the Baker Bracelet or the Henry Glossy Pop.

5. Camera

If guys like cameras, then girls must love them. All because of one word - 'Selfie.' Girls also like seem to love vintage photos. Thus, you should consider the following cameras:

Polaroid Camera

The Fujifilm instax is a fan favourite when it comes to taking polaroids.

Selfie Camera

When it comes to selfie cameras, two things are very important. The ease of taking them and the quality of the picture.

As such, consider the Samsung ST550 for 'getting white girl drunk' occasions. I don't think selfie's can be any easier than this. However, if you really want to impress you should go after the mecca, the abraham, the second coming of Jesus, the Casio EX-TR150. Be warned you may never see your girl again as she becomes so enamored with it that evolution may accelerate and it becomes part of her hand. 

If you got as excited as me about this 3 part series you'll probably be a bit sad that this is now the conclusion. Don't worry thought I'll be back next week with more thoughts about this crazy game called life. Speak soon.

#Hanbaobao

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Gifts for Guys

I'm not really sure what is harder; buying gifts for guys or girls. However, there are probably greater consequences for not getting the right gift for a girl (let me know if you disagree), so I should probably spend a bit more time writing the 'gifts for girls.'

You can't argue with that kind of logic, so let's begin with 'gifts for guys.'

1. Clothes

Buying something that someone would actually wear has to be one of life's great joys. As such, a gift list should include items of clothing. However, everyone has their own fashion sense so it's extremely hard to undertake a one size fits all approach. As a general rule, good quality, simplistic designs with timeless potential will always be the most successful gifts. Focus on colours such as colours such as greys, navys and blacks. Leave the more out there colours and designs to the individual (note: a grey kenzo tiger is not a timeless piece). For basic ideas, you could consult my essentials posts (links here - Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3) or for more significant occasions you could also consider the items on my Wishlist (link here - Part 1). If after all this, you still have no idea, perhaps you could consider these two items.

Sport coat

A 'timeless' sport coat is a wardrobe staple for any male. Something in the timeless colours (grey, navy and black) will always be a great gift. Even if the guy loves his street fashion and you just can't picture him in a blazer, just remember that everyone will have to attend a 'fancy' occasion at some point in time. It will be times like this that he'll be thankful for your thoughtful gift. Good quality sport coats can get pricey very quickly. So as a general rule, get something in wool such as this navy jacket from Zara.

Lounge Pants

Comfort is everything these days. This makes comfortable lounge or jersey pants one of the new essential items. Once again, get something tasteful in timeless colours such as these ones from Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein and you'll have purchased a great gift.

2. Storage

I think it's quite safe to say that guys like to 'collect' things just as much as girls. This means they are going to need a place to store these things. For the young professional, this will most likely consist of watches, cufflinks and tie pins. As such, I recommend getting a personalised valet box. Sure you could get an accessory box from Smythson but if you're like me, a tasteful personalised gift will win out every time. 

Also, the valet box will likely be a centre piece item. This means you'll be in the centre of their thoughts, if that's a priority...

3. Document Holder

Most guys that would use a messenger bag will either have one or have one on their radar. Similar to a 'significant watch', the messenger bag is an item that should be chosen by the individual as they form their professional identity.

However, one item that might not be on their radar is a document holder. Every guy should have one of these. Great for meetings or when travelling short distances, the document holder is a must. The messenger bag is better for a commute but if you need quick access with a 'less is more' vibe, a document holder wins out every time. This is something that he'll use for years to come so try to get something timeless like this document holder from Mulberry.

4. Camera

Buying the 'right' camera can often be very difficult because there are many people that think they are 'professionals' when it come to photography (think of the person that has a $2500 DSLR but probably couldn't shoot your face in focus from 3 feet away). 

Even if they do know how to use their DSLR, unless it's a wedding etc they are going to look like a tool if they bring it out. As such, perhaps consider the following cameras to 'compliment' their prized possession. I'm not an expert on cameras but I've never been disappointed when using these cameras.

Compact Camera

Everyone needs a good compact camera. As such, why not consider the Sony WX350 or the pricier Sony RX100M2. Both are great for what they offer and I'd be surprised if you can find a better camera in their class.

Action Camera

You've seen the videos of the dog running to the beach and you've probably seen countless live action snow videos. That's the beauty of the Go Pro Hero 4+. There's so many uses for it. You just gotta get creative.

5. Speakers

Lets face it, everyone likes to listen to music. However, many people do not have a good quality portable speaker (myself included). I don't know how many times I've been somewhere and I've thought it would be great to have some tunes. Thus, as we are trying to find 'quality' items that people wouldn't buy themselves, why not consider the SoundLink® Colour Bluetooth® speaker from Bose. I've been seriously tempted to get one of these for a while. Don't take my word for it though. Have a look at the review on CNET and make up your own mind.

So there you have it. 5 Items to think about. Just remember the best gifts are ones that the recipient would like but probably wouldn't pay for. Stay tuned for Gifts for Girls.

#Hanbaobao

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Choosing the Right Gift?

Buying presents can be one of the hardest things to do. As such, we generally descend to the rationale of the more expensive the better. Yes most girls would love the Chanel classic flap bag and most guys would probably love the Rolex Oyster Perpetual. However, a poorly thought out gift is still a poorly thought out gift even if you add a few more zeros to the price tag.

Sea-Dweller 4000

When you ask someone what makes a good gift, you get many generic phrases such as 'get something meaningful' or 'something that you know they will use.' Wow how helpful you are people, I definitely know what to get now. How about you also tell me something else as utterly useless like 'get them a gift card.' 

Classic Flap

Seriously though, you shouldn't hate on someone that is only trying to help. However, the art of choosing a great gift is by and large a psychological analysis. Understanding someone's motives for wanting and using things will go a long way in achieving success. So what should you assess when choosing a suitable gift?

1. Vanity

I bet he feels pretty

Vanity makes it to number 1, as there is no faster way to eliminate options. Vanity unlike overcompensation (which I'll discuss later in number 3), is concerned with how 'pretty' the present is. Some people favour this more so over practical function which is also why it is undeniably linked to overcompensation. As such, correctly gauging a person's vanity level will very quickly help you to eliminate many unsuitable gifts.

So how do you assess how vain someone is? There's many ways to do this so i'll leave that up to you to figure out. However, if you really can't figure it out, I've been told that 'neat handwriting is a sign of vanity.' Have a look at someone's handwriting and tell me if you agree?

2. Self-confidence

You should always be true to yourself

Self-confidence comes in at number 2. This is because the true level of self confidence (the confidence a person projects when they feel safe), is a true measure of what someone actually likes. This differs from the 'confidence' displayed when said person is around strangers or people that make them uncomfortable. This also shouldn't be confused with their ability or confidence to trend set (#5), as this may not reflect who they truly are.

You want to get as close as possible to (or try to imagine) how you think this person would behave in their freest setting (be it on holiday or when they've had to much to drink). Think about the things he/she would talk about or want to do but won't because of the restrictions they feel society imposes upon them. Success at this will open your mind to better gift ideas.

3. Overcompensation

I believe him

Essentially, number 3 assesses how much a person likes to brag. As I mentioned in number 1, pretty items are often easy to brag about. However, overcompensation goes much further than just a pretty gift. You essentially have to ask yourself, 'how much will the person want to tell others about the gift?'

As such, an assessment of their level of modesty will hopefully hold you in good stead as you go about picking a great gift.

4. Practicality

Was it worth it?

Any present you get has still has to have a 'practical' function to the recipient. However, practical doesn't necessarily mean useful in this context. It does mean that it gets lots of use. You wouldn't argue that a painting is particularly useful. However, if the recipient is going to look at it multiple times and a day and draw inspiration or comfort from it, then it is getting 'lots of use.' 

There are many items which you may think do not belong into this category. I encourage you to think beyond the obvious uses of the item and instead assess it in terms of what emotional return the recipient would gain from it. Just don't get crocs -  I don't care how 'practical' they are.

5. Trend Setter

Setting fashion trends for guys with great side boob everywhere

A person's trend setting ability will help you quickly define how 'out there' to go for a present. Someone that has a high 'level of ability or confidence' will appreciate you getting them something that is out of the norm, especially if they always have to 1 Up everyone. The opposite is also true as a 'follower' would prefer you get something that is well researched by society and is now considered cool at the moment.

Essentially, you must ask the question; 'from zero to Kanye, how Kanye are they?'

Ultimately the best gifts have the greatest timeless potential (i.e. will be kept and treasured for the longest amount of time). This is where you will need to assess the type of occasion you are buying for and determine if timeless value is important or not.

With the theory out of the way, stayed tuned for gifts for guys and gifts for girls; coming soon

#Hanbaobao

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What is Happiness Worth?

As I stood enjoying the showmanship of Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters, a thought kept popping back into my head; if money could buy happiness, this would be it. Sure this moment would pass and it did, but for those 2.5 hours, I was truly happy and I would gladly pay the ticket price again and again.

 In reflection of this amazing concert, two things struck me as interesting:

1. Dave's comments that he believed that Adelaide still had a rock and roll music scene;

2. The subsequent comments from AJ Maddah and random fans.

For those that don't know, AJ Maddah is the lead promoter for the Soundwave music festival. AJ Maddah has indicated that Soundwave may not be returning to Adelaide in 2016 due to poor ticket sales. As such, this essentially leaves Adeladie with two 'music' festivals; Stereosonic and Future Music Festival (Woopty doo *Sarcasm intended*). 

Which brings me to the point of this post; the question of whether you can put a 'price on happiness?' Or more specifically 'At what point do you stop paying for happiness?'

It would be unfair to make this assessment without a few assumptions. As such, one of my main assumptions is that people do not behave rationally - why else would we pay hundreds of dollars to see someone scream and play a guitar (the foo fighters are not exempt from this). However, I am of the belief that there is a tipping point; the point where the irrational becomes rational. That is why no matter what your beliefs, backgrounds, personal tastes and so on are, you may initially be 'irrational' compared to another but at some point everyone reaches the same rational position (as all money is finite).

Personally, I don't get a lot out of metal and punk (the majority of the Soundwave 2015 lineup). To me the majority of metal and punk is not about happiness but is instead about providing an outlet for frustrations and built up emotions. This outlet is definitely required for 'sanity' reasons so this then poses the question; why are people being so rational when it comes to purchasing (or not purchasing) Soundwave tickets?

Let's contrast this with the Soundwaves of 2011 and 2013 where 'mainstream' bands such as Queens of the Stone Age and 30 Seconds to Mars (2011) and Blink 182 and Linkin Park (2013) were in attendance. I would go so far as to say that unlike the recent headlining bands, these guys appeal to a wider range of people chasing 'irrational happiness.' As such, if you have a diminishing 'irrational happy pool' surely the number ticket sales would exponentially decrease when you consider rising ticket prices (economics 101).

This is also why I'm not surprised to hear that the festivals that are no longer providing 'widespread irrational happiness' are failing (see Big Day Out who tried to mash the molly enthusiasts with the hardcore rock n rollas and resulted in sending both groups home unhappy).

Even this guy can be happy

It might be an optimists view (money NOT being able to buy happiness is the pessimist's view) but I think everyone generally wants to be happy (even Voldemort is chasing his own version of 'irrational happiness'). As such, when promoters chase profits they can sometimes be blindsided about what truly sells an event; the provision of irrational happiness.

Let's now take this to a wider audience and consider sports by comparing horse racing and cricket. Two things are obvious here. Attendees of horse racing are not there for the actual races. It is the promise of fun and happiness (with winning money on a race being a side bonus) that ultimately sells the event. On the flip side, unless you are one of the privileged few that is able to hang out in the members area and get trashed off many a beer, chances are you won't be attending the cricket unless you are a fanatic (very much a niche market these days - Australia playing is the exception). It's extremely obvious which one is providing the 'irrational happiness' and which one provides the rational.

Let's also consider two of the best paid sports in the world; European Soccer and American Baseball. The salaries on offer here are astronomical compared to other sports around the world; to the point that people love to critique the wages paid, whenever there is even the slightest slip up from any sportsman. Ultimately, if the fan is paying the wages, its not the sporting ability or professionalism that governs the salary. It is the promise of irrational happiness and whilst this illusion exists, their wages will continue to be justified.

Interestingly, I think you could almost equate any monetary transactions as a trade for happiness (or at least future happiness). Why else would we pay 'overpay' for something if not for the assumption that everyone is chasing their own version of irrational happiness? Penny for you thoughts?

#Hanbaobao

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Your Ego's Best Friends

For many people, the word 'ego' is a negative subject and is often associated with prejudicial judgement - think Kanye. Contrary to this belief, I like to argue that 'ego' is good. Ego is what drives you in life and essentially decides whether you succeed or fail. However, just like any person, your ego is easily influenced by his best friends and it is this influence that essentially feeds your ego.

Is Facebook the right friend for your ego?

Resentment is one of your ego's friends. However, unlike another best friend; ambition - who continually pushes your ego to succeed), resentment is that toxic friend your ego should have dumped years ago. Fortunately for you, resentment isn't always around. He's like one of those friends that blow in and out of town but when he's in town, you two are inseparable and it only gets worse the longer he's around.

Chasing an achievable long term dream?

Let me give you a classic example. Think back to a couple of years ago and find someone that you thought you were at a similar level with. It could be sporting ability, career success or even dollars in the bank account. Now think about what's happened in the following two years and where you stand in comparison to said person. Chances are, if you chased an achievable long term goal, you will be further ahead of that person; especially if that person chased short term success. As a consequence you may now find that your relationship dynamic has now changed. Gone are the days where you saw each other as an equal and instead you now resemble an uncomfortable relationship. This is because egos ugly friend resentment, is in town. 

Are you getting further ahead?

This situation is magnified as your friend's fast success is probably starting to burn out (if it hasn't failed already). On the flip side, your longer term plans start to bear fruit and the gap between you two begins to widen at an exponential growth rate. The wider this gap gets, the deeper the resentment and the greater control resentment has over their ego. Now instead of ambition fueling both of your egos, you have one person's slowly getting poisoned by resentment.

Resentment stops us from going back to a beginner

I think resentment is one of the hardest things to admit. Most of us would rather build sideways with no further progress than to admit we made a shit decision and start again from a perceived 'lower' position. This is our ego being consumed by resentment instead of listening to ambition; who knows that you need a few failures before you can have true success. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix here and the only way this problem is solved is if ego can ditch itself of resentment. 

Similar to the 5 stages of grief, everyone must work their way through the stages before they can reach the final stage of 'acceptance.' If this can be achieved, then and only then can ego truly shed itself from the clutches of resentment and allow ambition to drive it to success.

Should win out every time

If this doesn't apply directly to you, I'm sure you have a couple of friends that you know this is currently happening to. The sooner they figure this out, the sooner it will make everyone happier. Life is definitely too short to let resentment get in the way of ambition.

#Hanbaobao

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