Your Ego's Best Friends

For many people, the word 'ego' is a negative subject and is often associated with prejudicial judgement - think Kanye. Contrary to this belief, I like to argue that 'ego' is good. Ego is what drives you in life and essentially decides whether you succeed or fail. However, just like any person, your ego is easily influenced by his best friends and it is this influence that essentially feeds your ego.

Is Facebook the right friend for your ego?

Resentment is one of your ego's friends. However, unlike another best friend; ambition - who continually pushes your ego to succeed), resentment is that toxic friend your ego should have dumped years ago. Fortunately for you, resentment isn't always around. He's like one of those friends that blow in and out of town but when he's in town, you two are inseparable and it only gets worse the longer he's around.

Chasing an achievable long term dream?

Let me give you a classic example. Think back to a couple of years ago and find someone that you thought you were at a similar level with. It could be sporting ability, career success or even dollars in the bank account. Now think about what's happened in the following two years and where you stand in comparison to said person. Chances are, if you chased an achievable long term goal, you will be further ahead of that person; especially if that person chased short term success. As a consequence you may now find that your relationship dynamic has now changed. Gone are the days where you saw each other as an equal and instead you now resemble an uncomfortable relationship. This is because egos ugly friend resentment, is in town. 

Are you getting further ahead?

This situation is magnified as your friend's fast success is probably starting to burn out (if it hasn't failed already). On the flip side, your longer term plans start to bear fruit and the gap between you two begins to widen at an exponential growth rate. The wider this gap gets, the deeper the resentment and the greater control resentment has over their ego. Now instead of ambition fueling both of your egos, you have one person's slowly getting poisoned by resentment.

Resentment stops us from going back to a beginner

I think resentment is one of the hardest things to admit. Most of us would rather build sideways with no further progress than to admit we made a shit decision and start again from a perceived 'lower' position. This is our ego being consumed by resentment instead of listening to ambition; who knows that you need a few failures before you can have true success. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix here and the only way this problem is solved is if ego can ditch itself of resentment. 

Similar to the 5 stages of grief, everyone must work their way through the stages before they can reach the final stage of 'acceptance.' If this can be achieved, then and only then can ego truly shed itself from the clutches of resentment and allow ambition to drive it to success.

Should win out every time

If this doesn't apply directly to you, I'm sure you have a couple of friends that you know this is currently happening to. The sooner they figure this out, the sooner it will make everyone happier. Life is definitely too short to let resentment get in the way of ambition.

#Hanbaobao

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Getting Through Writer's Block

Today I'm struggling to fully develop an idea that I can write about. Which poses the question of what can you do to get past writer's block?

I think most 'blockages' (writers', creativity etc) are due to anxiety. Maybe it's the anxiety of coming up with something meaningful or has some 'w'ow' factor. Or maybe it is the anxiety of failure. The sooner you identify the specific cause, the sooner you can overcome it. 

In my case, I think I might be feeling the pressure of maintaining such a high standard of blogging (the pressures of having one fan are getting to me). I don't know why, but admitting this seems to have made me more relaxed to the point I think I can feel the creative juices flowing. It seems to have got me halfway through this post so it must be working.

So building on this idea. I think it applies to a wider set of circumstances. How many things have you not done, due to anxiety. Is it kicking that bad habit? Is it getting the confidence to ask that person out? Is it not pursuing something you're passionate about?

Hitting the ripe old age of 25 has made me realise that it's time to face multiple 'anxieties' and roundhouse kick it in the face. I encourage you to do the same. You don't have to be doing what society dictates but by my next post I challenge you to have faced an anxiety and start becoming more comfortable with yourself.

I've now come up with  a couple of good ideas that I'll publish very soon so stay posted.

#Hanbaobao